We all have our own personal way of dealing with other people, our “style”. Some of these styles will bring out the best in people while others will not. It is worth spending time analysing how you affect people around you – as we can all improve our style. It is worth remembering, however, that your style can be greatly affected by your internal calmness or anxiety levels. Being stressed reduces your ability to deal with disturbances around you. It reduces your ability to respond to people in a measured manner.
I spent some time at my children’s school last week. The school ran a short introduction session to the new school year. It was an excellent way for me to meet new parents, catch up with ones from last year, and learn more about the school curriculum. During the session my mind started working on a new idea. As I walked to the subway afterwards, the idea continued to develop – so much so that I had to stop walking to jot down some notes!
My children’s education is very different from my own. Theirs is much more modern and emphasises creativity. But what hasn’t changed is the need for a person to do the teaching. As I started reminiscing about my time at school, I began to think about the different teachers I had and their differing teaching styles. I remembered that when some teachers left the classroom there would be pandemonium: chatting, laughter, paper airplanes – you get the picture. Other teachers, however, could leave and we’d continue to work. How did they manage that?
- Some through fear
- Some through respect
These differences were mostly down to the teachers‘ different styles. Especially their differing ideas about how to maintain control within the classroom. Some teachers’ techniques breed mutual respect, while others breed contempt. However, a teacher’s mental state also affected how they treated the class. If they felt relaxed and in control then they were able to use their preferred teaching style. If they felt anxious, nervous, or stressed, then this would drastically alter their style – possibly masking it completely.
As my mind continued making connections, so up popped a memory from a leadership session I’d attended a few years ago. It had been led by a professional conductor and during one part of his session he’d demonstrated conducting the same piece of music using three different styles:
- The first was too casual, demonstrating a lack of indifference
- The second was very tight and authoritarian
- The third was controlled, with a lightness of touch and encouraging demeaner
After lingering on this memory for just long enough to notice its re-appearance, my mind continued on its path through my memory banks. It was at this point that I started to think about how I am with my own children. I must confess that I am not always as relaxed with them as I’d like to be. I find myself getting wound up inside by their behaviour. Finally, they will play up once too often and I react. I don’t actively choose my response.
I have allowed my emotions to dictate my reaction for me.
I’m not like this very often for which I am thankful. When it happens it comes as a shock to the children – although I knew it was coming. Most of the time when I feel this build up inside me I use my Alexander Technique knowledge to relax myself. Then, as my children continue to play up I’m able to laugh and joke with them so gently getting them to play friendly with each other again. Laughter is usually a good stress reducer.
Tension Influences your Leadership Style
Tension in the body leads to tension in the mind. Just as tension in the mind leads to tension in the body. When in a state of tension it is much harder to control our responses than when we feel relaxed and in control. When acting in any leadership position, whether this be a parent, teacher, or in business, it is important to remain relaxed. This one step can easily be the biggest influence to your leadership style.
Learning Till I Die 